The Power of Discernment You Chose to Have

This is a brilliant piece quoted from one of Victor Cheng's several insightful emails. It's a treasure trove and worth going through from time to time...

"

You possess a power that can determine the quality of your life. This power is called discernment.It is the skill (or lack thereof) to discern which people you want to associate or spend time with.

Discernment is choosing which friends to be close to.

Discernment is choosing whether or not to work for a particular boss.

Discernment is choosing which spouse to marry.

The ability to discern who is good for you to get close to and who is not is a skill.It’s an important skill because the quality of your life is directly related to the quality of people around you.Going through life’s adversities with friends who put you down... harms your life.Deciding to continue working with a boss who doesn’t respect you... harms your life.Choosing a romantic partner that doesn’t offer any emotional support... harms your life.

The inverse is true too.

When life gets impossibly difficult, but you have amazing friends there with you... your life benefits.

When your boss respects and supports you, your professional life benefits.

When your romantic partner is a true partner to you through the ups and down, your life benefits.

The ability to discern is a skill that’s worth developing.

However, many people never develop this skill.This occurs because many people (myself included for most of my life) assume that we have no choices.For some of us, we don’t choose our friends. Friendships kind of just happen and we get who we get.For some of us, we don’t choose our boss. We kind of end up with the boss we get.For some of us, we don’t choose our romantic partner. We kind of just end up with someone somehow.

The first step in developing your discernment skills is to realize that you have the inherent right to choose which people you do and do not want in your life.You can invite those you want in your life to be a closer and bigger part of your life.You can distance yourself from the people you do not want to be in your life.However, if you waive your right to choose... you will never develop your ability to discern.

Recognizing that you have a choice in all of your relationships is the first step to developing discernment.

"

Self Exploration

Having toyed with the idea of exploring my interests and passions and eventually implementing them in real life - to make a difference and maybe make some bucks out of it as well, I finally quit my well paying full-time job at Goldman. Does it sound weird? Most likely it does. Why would someone quit a nice cushy job just to be able to follow her passion and make an impact - is how most people think about it.

However, the decision had been long thought through. I knew in my heart of hearts that I was cut out for something very different. Something that also recognized the human being/the person that I am. And so one day, when it became excruciatingly unbearable I decided to call it quits. Most folks were surprised that I had quit without an offer at hand and to tell you the truth some part of me was astonished too. But the fact is I could not bear to continue with it anymore. So just 2 weeks before the year-end bonus announcement I went up to my manager and spilled the beans. To me, this wasn't difficult at all. I had rehearsed this in my mind probably a zillion times. Every moment of most of my days there felt hapless, and I felt lesser in control of where my career is headed and most importantly missing out on any valuable learning from my time spent there. I had also become increasingly conscious of the fact that I am going further away from what the industry or the general job market desires in a likable candidate and additionally not even doing stuff that interests me or "makes me come alive" as would Oprah say.

Anyway, the day happened and over the next couple of weeks, I transitioned everything to my teammates. A lot of people thought that my decision was driven by my superior's decision to quit just a couple of weeks ago. Nobody ever realized that it had actually made things easier for me. A major reason why I couldn't wait for two more weeks until the bonus announcement.

So here I am one month into literal and actual joblessness or SELF EXPLORATION is how I like to call it. As time goes on I want to narrate my experiences, highs and lows, tears and laughter to all of you. Hope each one of you has a take away from my experiences.

And hoping, it turns out very well.